It’s been over a year since my last post. What happened? Overall the story is one of these ordinary ones. Nothing that Warner Brothers would like to film about. Yet, for me it was special and extraordinary, because it was mine. My experiences, my work, my pain and at the same time my successes, my happiness and my changes. What is that really makes them unique? Only two letters put together – M Y this is something we often lose or forget about. Every life is unique, every life is beautiful and every life is worth giving it a try. Every life matters. Sometimes the pain and individual suffering covers the surface in dark shades.
Sometimes, we are not able to fade these shades on our own. Once or twice the hand of our partner or friend is enough to help us, but it is possible that we might need to ask professionals for help.
I was thinking, what would I do if I was famous and had influencing powers? If my voice could be heard louder and wider? Recently my answer would be:
- To become an advocate to spread mental health awareness.
- To break the taboo.
- To demolish the stigmatism in our society.
For anyone to ask for time off when the head needs it, to be equally seen as asking for a day off when our body is unwell. Why when experiencing a toothache we call a dentist almost instantly? But when our soul cries out for help we tend to ignore it? Where as a human kind did we make a mistake and allowed for this imbalance?
I am not famous, I am aware that my audience is limited to only my close ones but again, one is only able to make the change in the world by changing ourselves. This is the start point and where the changes should end tool. We are not born knowing all the answers. Why in adult life do we feel ashamed when it is unclear where to go next? Even if this is to be read by one person, who will pause for a few minutes to reflect on their approach, to ask for help when uncertain, then it is totally worth it to publicly admit that I was one of you. I also needed help and delayed it for the longest possible. I denied in front of others, and what is probably even worse, in front of myself that on my own I am not moving forward anymore. What awakened me was when I realised, that I am not feeling anything anymore. My heart was frozen. Yes, I achieved what I wanted. I wasn’t suffering anymore but I was not loving either… As crazy as it might sound this is the closest to describing the “attitude of whatever”. For a highly sensitive personality this is almost unreal, and sadly yet possible.
Currently, there are better and worse days, sometimes I even get excited again. Other times, I am lower in mood. Luckily, I am stronger now. I know and believe with all my energy that this is only a passing worse day. It will become history as quickly as yesterday did. I work on it daily, exercise and feed both my body, and my mind using only nutritious food that works for me, keeps me going. As with everything in life there is no magic spell which solves all the problems but systematic hard work which with time brings results.
Until next time, hopefully much sooner than next year. Take care and stay well.
NOTE:
If you, or someone you know might need help, mind put together a very useful page of contacts where you can get help. All can be accessed in link below:
Pictures were taken during the year. I was a beautiful path to re-discover myself and it always helps to do it in stunning scenery.
0 Comments